I'm all ears says new men's health tsar

 The government has turned to an expert to deal with the crisis in male sexual function.

Loss of libido, erectile dysfunction and failing sperm counts will all be part of the brief of new men's health tsar named today as Snowy Rabbit. A spokesman for 10 Downing Street said: 'It's incredible. The place is swarming with little rabbits already and he's only been in office five minutes.'

Asked if he favoured Viagra or Cialis, the minister replied 'Mr Bunny Rabbit Treats.' He is also known to have a controversial attitude to condoms, prefering to chew up the wrapper rather than use the contents in the customary manner. He is particularly partial to stawberry flavour and has called for the introduction of a carrot variety.

Government policy is already changing. Mr Rabbit has called on carrot production to be quadrupled by the end of the year and has abolished VAT on hay, on straw and on Mr Bunny Rabbit Treats.

The opposition condemned the appointment of a cute cuddly bunny as 'shameless opportunism'.

'What will the prime minister pull out of the hat next?' a spokesman demanded.